Let’s Meet Up

Community-based site LetsMeetUp has been a resounding success. With thousands of groups ranging from ‘Eastern suburbs burlesque grandmothers’ to ‘Christians against men bumming other men.’ It can be hard to find the right group. So we’ve compiled the top six to save you the effort of wasting your time.

1. ‘Wasted spiritual singles.’ Get close to your zen and your chi after sinking a gallon of cheap shots. Chrissy, the founder of this group, is a former Buddhist nun. And a current member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Chrissy writes “I had the idea after my last relapse. I was tired of getting munted with people that would become aggressive after a drink. This groups for single people that can drink all night and remain calm. Actually, that gives me an idea for a t-shirt.”

2. ‘Christians for men bumming other men.‘ A group started to rival the group mentioned above. Jes, the reluctant leader of the group says “The picture of two male lions boarding Noah’s ark proves God was cool with ‘Man on Man,’ or Lion on ‘Lion’ at the very least. If your not O.K with men (or women) having sexual intimacy with other men (or women) then your probably a latent homosexual. I’m just saying innit.”

3. ‘The small circle walking collective.‘ Anna started this group and wishes she’d given more thought to the name. “Lots of people contact me because they have social anxiety. They think ‘small circle’ relates to group size but it doesn’t. We’ve got hundreds of members and we literally walk in a small circle. You can do it anywhere, parks, cafes, department stores, restaurants. It looks a bit mental, but it’s not.”

4. ‘Shyness and anxiety karaoke.‘ Information was limited. So I emailed Glen. He told me the groups been running for two years and only has two members. He offered to pay me to list his group, so I have. I did point out to Glen that karaoke might be tough for shy people. He said, “Those losers need to toughen up, you gotta face your fears, jump in the deep end.”

5. ‘Young Bohemian Entrepreneurs 21 – 22 and three-quarters.‘ We phoned Kyle and he had a lot to say. “My hero is Branston. He’s an entrepreneur slash hippy. By ‘slash’ I don’t mean piss. Or that bloke from Guns and Roses. I mean forward slash. Branston was ahead of the game. These days if you’re not aligned with a social or environmental cause, you can’t sell anything. Back in his day, you could get away with murder. No one cared if you paid a third world kid two sheckles a week to paint the eyes on three hundred space-hoppers. Though he probably wouldn’t have done that, but I would. I’d rip my own grandmother off. I don’t believe in the causes my businesses are aligned with. They’re just good marketing strategies. That’s why he’s my hero because I can’t understand him. And pretending I care, like he does, makes me look good.”

I questioned Glen about the narrow age range? He jumped in before we finished the question. “Short attention span, I’ll be bored of this soon, like I’m bored of answering your stupid questions. Plus I don’t want any ‘old minger’ joining. Just young, fit girls.”

6. ‘Writers without friends.‘ Tarquin S Thomson formed this group. He wanted to write to us, but eventually we convinced him to speak. “Time is irrelevant, for thousands of years writers have been depressed. Partly due to the isolating nature of the practice. Partly because most of us struggle to form friendships. Which is why we start writing in the first place. Turn up at a party with a book of your own poetry if you doubt me. You’ll be ostracised before your two lines in. I started this group to offer sad bastards like me some basic human interaction. We meet once a fortnight, we can’t handle more than that. At a local pub, which helps us feel more normal. We don’t play pool in case someone else puts money down. The only rule is ‘don’t be late.’ Sloppy punctuality is like sloppy grammar. Unforgivable.”

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